Thoughts and comments from the '07-'08 DI's

Thoughts from Whitney- It's not over

2008-07-15T10:40:00.002-06:00

“The World will keep spinning even if you think your life is over” One thing I have learned over the years is throughout all the stresses/issues of life and at the times when it feels like your world is over, everyone keeps on keeping on…the world keeps spinning.

So it is at those times when you have to rely on God; turn to him through all troubles. The times when you are at your lowest are the times when God wants to mold you. God desires our hearts to be broken, because in brokenness is when God has the power to mold us into what he wants us to be.

This year has been hard, at times I didn’t feel God, and at other times I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and all I could do was fall to my knees, lift up my hands and cry out to him. When I speak to God I don’t use fancy words, actually most of it is mumbling because there is no word in the English language that can give God the justice he deserves. There is a worship song I love, I can't remember what it is called but one of the lines is “and I'll let my words be few” I believe that we as Americans think that we have to have the right words to say to God for him to be “impressed with us” but NO that’s not true at all, try letting your words be few, and God will fill you with his words.
God gave me a vision this morning during prayer time for Desperation, it was of a jar that at one point in life was full of water, but throughout the troubles of life and throughout all the enemies schemes that have prevailed in our lives our jar has next to nothing of water in it. there is only a tiny bit at the bottom, and that tiny bit isn’t even us fighting for God, but it is God fighting for us, it is the part of our heart that God still dwells in, even though we have turned out backs on him. But throughout the weekend/week/month/years Gods love is going to begin to overflow our jar, not just fill it, but OVERFLOW it!! So Consider it pure joy my Brothers, and Sisters, He is coming!!! Our Redeemer is alive!

Thoughts from Curtis- Foundations

2008-07-10T09:53:00.002-06:00

I used to work in Construction work when I lived in Arizona, and I loved it. One thing I noticed while working one day was the foundation. The foundation is the most important part of building a house; you can not build on the foundation if it is not properly constructed. Everything depends on the foundation and how it was made.

A few things I have noticed is that if your foundation is not properly constructed, the inspector will not allow you to continue on with the construction of the building. I believe this symbolizes if you do not build a foundation right you will not grow. Its like the parable that tell about the seed that fell on bad ground. All of the seeds were the same...the only descriminating factor that changed was the foundation that the seed fell on. That determined the outcome of the crop.

I believe if our foundation is built on lies or misconceptions of who God is and how we are called to live, then there will be no growth. In order to have growth, we need our foundation to be in God and God alone. He is the only one we can fully trust and be certain that when the storms come we will stand on God, the solid rock and foundation, and not be moved.

Thoughts from Whitney- Africa

2008-06-18T10:34:00.002-06:00

Africa was a phenomenal experience, and Im so thankful that I had the oppertunity to go! Gods hand was moving throughout the whole two weeks we were there, and not just in the children/people living in the village of Salajwe, but also in the leaders that helped us. Living in America, the wealthiest country in the world, we dont really see a lot of true poverty. Going to Africa you see it everywhere you look, and you would think the people who are having to live in such horrible conditions would not have any joy or enjoy life at all. Surprisingly it is the exact opposite.
I have never met people my whole life who have joy like these people possess. Every time we would walk by them they all (inluding the old people and all the children) would wave and say "Dumela" (meaning "hello") with the biggest smiles on their faces. It was a life changing experience. I was finding myself thinking about my own life here in the States and how terribly ungreatful I am and have been. It brought me to tears when I began to think of all my belongings and how I really dont appreciate them. I am learning that every little thing I buy with my own money or recieve as a gift from loved ones I need to take the time and really think about how lucky I am for every little thing in my life... inculding the people I take for granted.
God is the only one thing that can truly bring satisfaction and joy in this corrupted world the enemy has blinded us from in almost every way possible. I am sorry I had to go to a different country to actually find true joy and what it really is God longs for us to have each minute of every day.
...but now that I have found it I will never lose sight of it again. I am going to fight for the joy God has so freely given to me, and I am not going to let the enemy take it away from me ever again. God is my strength and my shield... of whom shall I fear?

Thoughts from Alleli- Unconventional

2008-05-16T16:12:00.004-06:00

1 Corinthians 1:27- Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

It's so evident! Littered all over the Bible are stories of people God decided to use. Take a look:

Joeseph, from the book of Genesis, was the youngest in his family. His dad favored him and gave him a sweet, colorful coat. His brothers got jealous and were planning on killing him, but instead sold him into slavery. After a few years of good times and bad times, he became second in command next to the pharaoh. Because of this, he saved basically the whole entire land from dying due to the 7-year famine.

God chose Gideon to be a judge of Israel. He claimed we was of the weakest tribe and the least of his family. He took 300 men willing for fight and annihilated a whole entire army of Midianites. We're talking a hoard of them...thousands.

David, the man who wrote a majority of the Psalms, was the youngest of 12 in his family. Yet God annointed him as King over Israel. He was a great military man, loved God, and was also a part of the Genealogy to Christ himself.

Timothy, of the new testament, was a young preacher. Youth was generally frowned upon by the public because it "reflected inexperience". Paul called him out and told him to keep pressing forward; keep doing what he's doing.

Honestly, how unconventional is God? If you haven't noticed, He likes to use the weak, the small, the unknown, unused, untested, irrational, irresponsible, immature, petty things to shame and humble us.

You haven't noticed? Maybe you're not looking.

Thoughts from Tiffany- Grace

2008-05-06T13:31:00.002-06:00

If there has been one thing God has really been teaching me about the last few weeks, it has been His Grace towards me and just receiving it rather than arguing with Him !

I am one of those people who when I fail I am harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. I won’t forgive myself, and in so doing I couldn’t receive God’s forgiveness either. I thought God and I had already worked through all that with me, but it seems that it was just one step and this was just one more calling me to a deeper understanding of His GREAT love and grace.

I have been going through a lot of rough situations and have not always made the right choices. I would go to God with my frustrations and broken and tired of doing things wrong, the enemy was constantly trying to make me believe that my failures defined who I was before God, but I knew that wasn’t true. I started asking God everyday to tell me what really defined me in His sight and He faithfully started countering those thoughts and telling me that the only thing that defines who I am is His love and the price He paid for me. It was amazing, freeing, and gives me the strength I need to go through the rough moments and failures and really receive His forgiveness as well as forgive myself.

Thoughts from Aimee- The Power of Prayer

2008-05-01T09:27:00.002-06:00

I have so many thoughts rattling around my brain but I seem to have no words. How can I adequately express the depth and power of what God is doing in my heart? It goes so far beyond just a simple stirring to pray.
Just in the recent months God has really placed in me a heart to pray. It’s like suddenly a light turned on and I realized my prayers really do matter. By nature of being a Desperation Intern I spend a lot of time in prayer and I have always known that prayer is important. The truth is the idea that prayer is important has been so engrained in me and yet I’ve never had the conviction to pray.
The other night I was given the opportunity to pray with a student facing cancer. And suddenly the idea of prayer being powerful and effective really resonated within me. With everything in me I wanted to take away the burden that this young girl was carrying. I would have done anything to alleviate the fear that seemed to engulf this girl. It was then that I realized that aside from prayer I was powerless to make things better for her.
James 4:8 says:
“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
As I prayed for that student, internally I was pleading with God to make my prayers powerful and effective. Like never before I truly desired for my prayers to matter. I prayed harder that night than I ever have before. My conviction that my prayers make a difference was backed by the idea that my prayer might be her only hope. The more I pray the more I realize that my prayers can be effective. My prayers can change a situation, a life, even the course of history. There is no reason for me not to pray and yet it is so easy for me to grow lax in that area of my spiritual life. But my prayers can make a difference. And I pray that God would make me one whose prayers are powerful and effective.

Thoughts from Cassie- Submitting Control

2008-04-30T13:40:00.001-06:00

My life has been a crazy haze of business lately, but I can’t say I’m the only DI that feels this way. We are all working hard, getting ready for furnace banquet, getting ready for our missions trip to Africa, and finally getting ready for this thing we have been working on all year called DESPERTION ’08 COUNTING ON GOD! I have been especially busy lately due to a lot of pressure concerning my future and my family who lives here in Colorado Springs.
A huge thing God has been teaching me through it all, especially tour, is how to find rest and peace when everything around you seems to be pulling you at light speed. When a storm hits, it is human nature to sink your fingernails into anything stable to keep yourself from flying away. But Jesus himself is a prime example that the opposite course of action is the one we are called to take. Jesus prays in Matthew while kneeling face to face with the biggest trial he ever faced, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And with those words released control of his life to God’s all knowing will.
It is the hardest thing to do, I think the most difficult decision Jesus faced, submitting his life in that way. This is the same decision we as Christian’s are called to every day. The words I hear in my ear every time I feel my heart beating fast with panic, or start clutching for something to hold on to “Let go and let Me be God” are the most terrifying and the most comforting. So what do I do in the mean time? Worship. In worship I have found peace, comfort, release, and most importantly an expression of my faith, my belief that God really is in control, He really does love me, He really is good.

Thoughts from Curtis- No worries

2008-04-29T13:23:00.002-06:00

Today I went out to my lunch with one of my friends and we started talking. During this talk I became worried about a few different things. I am moving back to my home town in august and was just worried about falling back in to complacency, school, work, ECT.
After our lunch I was suddenly reminded of the verse where Jesus tells us not to worry about our life (Matt6:25). After that verse jumped in to my head, I just felt like I didn’t care about anything...not in a hippie way. I think that when we put our trust in God and not worry about tomorrow and what we think it will bring.
God will lead us where we need to go and what we need to do. I want to challenge you right now if you are worried about school, college, work, ECT. If there is something worrying you right now, I want to encourage you to put your faith in God; trust in him and he will lead you through whatever you are going through. It says in the word he has a plan for us so if we believe that he does and put our faith in him we have nothing to worry about.

Thoughts from Kelly- Trusting

2008-04-25T14:12:00.001-06:00

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”- Psalm 28:7

Have you ever felt helpless, stuck in an unchangeable situation? I’ve recently come to a time in my life like this, but unlike any other time, I actually came out enjoying it. It’s weird, I know. I recently heard a message about living a broken life before God, no matter what your circumstances are. It’s in this state of brokenness when you can come before God absolutely desperate for Him, knowing that He is the only one that can fix it, that can put the pieces together for you.
This message was so timely for me. Early this week I came to a spot where I just stopped and asked myself: what is my life about, what’s my purpose, my vision? In all actuality I have no clue and that’s finally okay!! I am an achiever by nature, so I feel like that I have to have a plan, some course of action in order to be successful. However, God is totally shaking me in this. Can I not be content to just be living in His will?? Do I have to live up to the standard my flesh yells at me, or can I rest in God??
By no means do I believe I have passed this obstacle and conquered these questions, but I do know that the spirit of God inside of me has become stronger than my flesh these past few days and I have found myself completely broken in the presence of God, but living in a greater joy, each day better than the last. While truly relying on God, I have myself trusting Him and being filled in every way I could ever need. It’s from this goodness that my heart can “leap for joy” and I can live a fulfilling life.

Thoughts from Whitney- Power

2008-04-24T09:22:00.002-06:00

I’m learning that God placed power inside of me, and not just me. Everyone who claims Christ also have this power. We have the power to HEAL, yes HEAL the sick/hurting…I know it sounds crazy, but through Christ we can. We can also speak life into others, also known as prophecy. Growing up I always thought prophecy was so weird, but it really isn't if you think about it. It really is just encouraging words from God that people need to hear.
So with all of this power that has been given to us what are we doing with it? I know for me personally I'm not doing much. Don’t get me wrong, I will have my days when I totally feel the presence of God and I'll walk right up to somebody and God speaks through me.
It's not that some days you ‘feel” God, and some days you don’t; God is ALWAYS with us and always wants to speak to us. We just have to unplug our ears and listen…
He has so much on the other side of the door, and sometimes I feel like we just stand looking at the door…too afraid to see the treasures God has for us. Maybe our eyes are not mature enough to see them yet, but we need to take a step of faith and open the door that’s before us…The treasures are worth the pain.

Thoughts from Curtis- Tour

2008-04-18T08:37:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone I Just got back form tour and it was amazing! One of my most memorable moment on tour was in Fort Smith Arkansas, during the prayer portion of the prayer meeting, was hearing the prayers of the students I was praying with.

At first they seemed a little scared and timid, but all of the sudden it was like a fire just ignited and their prayers completely changed. To hear the prayers form these kids broke my heart in so many ways. They were hungry for something deeper then they have ever experienced, and were willing to do whatever it takes to get it. They prayed for their schools, friends, church and so much more.

This tour was beyond words for me because of the way God moved and how people’s lives were changed. It is so hard to right this blog today because I don’t have the words to tell you what happened.

Thoughts from Alleli- Forgiveness

2008-04-14T17:01:00.005-06:00

Luke 5:5-8 -- " Master," Simon replied," we worked hard all last night and didn't catch a thing. But if you say so, I'll let the nets down again." And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.
When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, "Oh, Lord, please leave me -- I'm too much of a sinner to be around you."

Jesus had healed the sick, raised people from the dead, and casted demons out of those possessed. Yet he also cared about the struggles of daily living. He filled boats with fish after a bad day of fishing. He paid attention to the children when everybody else ignored them. He cried with friends mourning the death of family members.

So why would He not care about you? He knows you better than you know yourself. I have had many friends say to me, "Oh God could never love me. He doesn't want me. I've done too many bad things..."

What a load of CRAP. Take a look at the many stories in the Gospels:

One of Jesus' disciples, Matthew (or Levi), was a tax collector. Tax collectors were generally considered dishonest men in the community since they took more than what the government required and keeping excess for their own personal piggy bank.

Jesus spoke to a Samaritan woman at the well. The Samaritans were a despised group of people by the Jewish community for the immorality of their ancestors. He also went as far as to offer "living water" and speak of her private life and still forgive her of her sins.

There was a woman in Luke 7 who annointed Jesus' feet with perfume. She knew her many sins were forgiven and couldn't help but praise Jesus by anointing him with fragrances and washing his feet with her tears.

Ummm....I could keep going, but my point is Jesus isn't looking to bash us over our heads with our sins. Jesus has grace and we need to accept that grace. Granted, we can't just go around doing things we know aren't healthy or legal and just figure God will forgive us. That defeats the purpose. You know, every time I read the Gospels, I get a new revelation and insight on just to how much God has really forgiven me. It astounds me every time I think about it and it also makes me realize just how much I really need Jesus to have control over my life.

It says in Luke, "Healthy people don't need a doctor-- sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent." I plan on taking that to heart. I'm sick, I need Jesus. I accept the gift of grace and forgiveness He offers. I encourage you to do the same.

Thoughts from Macy- The Blessed Will of God

2008-04-07T16:12:00.001-06:00

Philippians 4:9 "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

What is my purpose in life? Am I even doing this whole, "walk with God" right? God has hope to give me a future, but what if I'm screwing that future up? Is this the will of God?

Me, as well as a lot of you, I'm sure have come to the cross roads of these questions. Some times I think, "I have to know it all NOW or my life is automatically off God's will." These questions/thoughts can only lead to one thing, and let me be the first to tell you it ain't Jesus. These thought patterns are awful to get into. It can make you feel guilt, shame, mistrust, and temptation. It will lead you down the road to questioning your faith, and your foundation as a whole.

So, let's look at your foundation. What is it built on? Silly things like church hymns, and memorized scriptures? or is it built on the characteristics of Jesus. Look at the scripture above. Now, answer me this: Why are we worried about the future? The solution to being in God's will is incredibly simple- Do things as Jesus did, do them as he tells you to, and do them well.

As humans we must feel it's our responsibility to over complicate things Jesus did. For some reason or another, it is near impossible for us to think that something so vast, such as completing God's perfect will for our life, can have such an effortless answer. Start believing my friends. By looking at this scripture you should see that the more your worrying about the future the more your eating tomorrow's Mana. All God has for us today it to practice what we already know. In other words, eat the Mana God intends for you today, in this moment. By doing this we will be one step closer to seeing the fullness of God. Relax, do what God says, and walk in the on-going, everlasting, wonderful, spectacular, peace of God.

Thoughts from Aly- Singleness

2008-04-07T16:11:00.002-06:00

Singleness.....most people view it as a curse, but is it really? When you are single, the loneliness can be overwhelming at times, but would your loneliness be cured if you shared your life with someone? Would you truly be satisfied laying in someone's arms? Can someone else tell you who you are? Can someone else tell you they love you enough times for you to truly believe it and never doubt it? Can someone make you feel safe or secure all the time? Is it possible for you to become a better person by having someone at your side forever? If you are only half a person to begin with, can someone make you whole?

I know the answer to these questions....the someone is not a man or a woman, it is Jesus Christ. He is the only person who can ever tell you who you are....in Him. He is the only one who can make you a whole person so you can pour into others without being afraid of running dry. He will tell you He loves you in so many ways and so many times that you will never have reason to doubt. And if you do, He'll tell you again and again just how much He loves you until you believe Him again. All you have to do is ask. In His arms, you will be truly satisfied. Not a fleeting satisfaction, but a lasting all-encompassing satisfaction. When you allow Him to speak into your life and heart and be constantly by your side, you will never be lonely. In the dead of night, He is there. When you are shedding those silent, agonizing tears, He is there. Even when you can't express your pain in words, when another human being would be helpless to understand, He knows exactly what you need and can touch your heart in a way no one else can.

Many times, as I go through life, people ask me why I am single. I'm single not because of circumstance or necessity, but by choice. I am choosing God and He is more than I ever dreamed. It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? That's what I first thought, but He has continued to whisper into my ear over and over and I am certain now. He is more than enough. I am content being single. Not a grudging acceptance, but content...satisfied....happy to be single. Now, in my time of singleness, I can chase after God with all of my devotion. A verse in Acts has caught my attention.

“He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.” Acts 21:9 (NIV emphasis added)

This is such a small, often overlooked verse, but it has so much to teach. The daughters were unmarried....and they prophesied. There is a power in singleness because of the devotion you have the opportunity to give Him. Another key word is four. There wasn't just one daughter who hadn't yet been married off. There were four. In that day and age, daughters were usually married off as quickly as possible so the father didn't have so many to care for. This strikes me as unusual that there were four of them all at the same time and ALL of them prophesied.

Don't look at your singleness as a curse, look at it as an opportunity. Now is the time I can serve God and learn who I am. A time to develop my character and pour my life out for others.

Thoughts from John- Grace and Legalism

2008-03-14T13:45:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with a man interested in starting his own internship program and he said something that really hit me. We can doing anything starting with the foundations of God and grace, but we as humans can turn anything into legalism. As humans, we all have weaknesses in our grace. I recognize this live among a world that shows this.

My heart cries out for a generation to hold themselves not to individual standards, but a generation that holds the standards of God. One of the greatest views I see in God is His love and grace. He has so much and is willing to give it to all of us, but He will eventually hold us all to the same standard. God’s love in consistent and equally infinite to all.

What I am learning and seeing is God wants us to all to recognize He loves us so much (and if you don’t believe me check out Zephaniah 3:17 or read Passion for Jesus by Mike Bickle)! The thing I struggle with and realize is we all don’t feel like God “speaks to us”, but the question I am now forced to answer is am I really listening? How can I say I don’t know God’s love or I don’t hear God today when I am not looking for these things?

We can’t be caught up in what we aren’t seeing and we have to concentrate on what we can see and what we hope for. We must stop condemning ourselves for the sake of self pity. I have faith in God, and I know that all times will come to pass with proper listening and action. So I encourage you take some time everyday to listen to God and love some people. With these actions we will begin to shift from condemning legalism to a generation living in love and making God’s love complete.

Thoughts from Cassie- Knowledge

2008-03-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Today during the first hour of the prayer meeting I was looking back through my journal, and I stumbled upon this entry from a while back I thought was beautiful:

1-10-08
So, I have found something amazing. Knowledge of God is not something freely given, God gives it to those he trusts, those who fight for it. Just as I feel I need to be fought for, so does God. He fights for us every day, and I’m beginning to see one of the best ways I can show my love for Him is to fight for His knowledge, to fight for the words He has for me.

Proverbs 2:3- “Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”

Thoughts from Aly- The DI Plague

2008-03-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

Over the past week and a half or so, a plague has hit our Desperation team. It doesn’t seem logical as to whom it hits or when, but when it hits, it’s not playing around! It chose to strike me last Thursday. I was down for the count. I spent 72 hours in bed, most of it sleeping. I didn’t have the energy to do anything.

I was praying about it the other day. I asked God why I was so ill and for such a long period of time. I’m not normally one to get sick. I had been sleeping a lot and eating healthy so why was I so sick? His answer caught me off guard.

The couple of weeks before I was sick had been particularly dry for me spiritually. I was distracted at prayer meetings. I only read my Bible out of habit. I would often speed read through just so I could say I finished my reading. My God time went from an hour or more of profound time with my Savior to being completely satisfied with half an hour of dry reading, journaling and listening to music.

God said I was spiritually sick long before I became physically sick. Because I was spiritually weak, I had opened myself up to physical sickness. It was the first time I connected my spiritual life to my physical well-being. It was a gigantic revelation to me. My spiritual life has become tied to every other aspect of my life, intricately involved to be exact. Because I was sick, it forced me to spend quality time resting. I was able to have my first productive God time in weeks. I felt refreshed and was on a God high for the rest of the night.

Since then my physical body is getting better much faster. More importantly, I’m not spiritually sick anymore. My heart feels alive again! So I would encourage you, check your spiritual health regularly. Don’t ignore your spiritual health it’s even more important than your physical health!

Thoughts from Susan- Giving it up

2008-02-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

If there’s anything that I’ve learned in the past 24hours it’s that life likes to kick you when you’re down. Yesterday started out pretty bad and though I was determined to keep a positive perspective, it just seemed that the hits kept on coming. For a while I had the typical woe is me mentality, I was so angry my stable little world was being shaken so fiercely, I wanted to react, to lash out, and to hurt someone as much as I was hurting. In another point in my life I would have gone that route...

Instead this time I chose to give it up to God. I laid it all down, the hurt, the rage, the helplessness and confusion. Even though I couldn't comprehend why any of this was happening, I trusted God was walking with me through this. I know he’s given me the strength to handle this with more wisdom and grace than I ever knew I possessed.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait on the Lord” Psalm 27:1 &13-14

Thoughts from Kelly- Battling Contentment

2008-02-22T13:47:00.001-07:00

Being content has been one of my greatest battles recently. I know God has brought me to a place in life where I am fully alive and happy but I never want to be satisfied with where I am! The only time I want to be satisfied in my walk with Christ is the day I’m with Him in Paradise.
I was strongly convicted during a prayer meeting early this week. The worship leader stopped one song into our corporate worship time and said he thought we needed to stop because we were just going through the motions. My intentional thoughts are not some I’m proud of, I said, “Who does this, I mean honestly, we just started worship!” I answered my own question later though: a godly man does, one who is eager for God to move in His people and is sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
I was lifting my hands in worship and singing because that’s what the normal thing to do is. I lost the passion and fiery love for God and was just going through the motions. My heart wasn’t alive, I wasn’t actually worshipping, I was just doing what felt right.
Since then I’ve been super intentional in my times of worship. I set my heart before God and pray He’ll spark it alive, that it would burn before His throne as something pleasing and holy. I don’t want to worship for the sake of feeling good about myself or because I like the music. I want to be so in love with God I couldn’t help but express my love in return to Him through my worship and my life.

Thoughts from Whitney- Respect

2008-02-20T12:38:00.002-07:00

God is really teaching me what respect is. Growing up I made a lot of mistakes, and I never learned how to respect men. Other than my father, I never really respected men period. But I am learning that men just want to be treated like men, and that means respecting them.

I’m also learning that my emotions are a gift from God. God made women to be emotional beings so we can help/connect with others that are hurting. I used to be ashamed that I was like that, but now that I know it’s a gift, I am proud. There are going to be things in life that only a man can do, as well as there will be things that only women can do.

We have to be content with who we are, and be pleased with how God has created us. Embrace his love, and you will find yourself learning to love yourself just the way you are.

Thoughts from Curtis- Kingship

2008-02-19T13:48:00.002-07:00

In desperation internship right now I am in a class called World View. The class explains about how different people have different views according to religion, Social status ECT. One of the issues that came up in the book was about The Kingship triangle. In this triangle it shows the connection Between Man and Creation, and how they Work together. The link between them is Stewardship.

I think that Stewardship is a big part in our walk as a Christian. In the bible Jesus uses the parable where the master gives his workers money as he goes on his journey, Two out of the three went and invested(not gambled) the masters money. The third on the other hand did not invest but buried it in the ground ther for not gaining any value. When the master returned, he praised the two for they had made more than what was given, but he rebuked the third for he did not use Steward what he had.

I believe that we need to be GREAT stewards of the things that God gives us so he can trust us with more. God says if we a faithful with little he can in trust us with more. I want to challenge you right now, if you have something little on your hands (like a small school prayer meeting, or meeting with one guy on a weekly basis to talk), don’t be discouraged. Just stay steady and be faithful with what you have and God will give you more.

Thoughts from Aaron- Kansas

2008-02-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the country, on the plains of Kansas. Most people go through Kansas on their way to some place exciting, they look along the highway and see the most boring state there just might be. However, they don't see the side of the Kansas country that I do. I used to go outside in the afternoon and just sit on our hillside during the late summer when the wheat is tall; I would just go out and stare at it. I have only been to the ocean once when I was little, but this was just as good.

When the wind starts blowing through it, the wheat generates waves of texture; the birds diving in and out; it’s quite a spectacular site. The wind would whistle through the trees, and I could start to hear faint songs that feel as if God Himself was singing to me. And when its night, the view is amazing, I can see all the stars plain and clear, it’s so much more beautiful when you see more than just the major constellations. They fill the sky and you can see galaxies themselves. The ocean of wheat still waving with the wind, all of it would bring me an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort.

I love sit and watch and listen to the very creation God made, knowing that He desired me over all of it. This world can seem ugly, filthy, and boring most of the time, but I try to realize what it would be like without all of the industrialization, and constant mutilation we put it through. I like to think of what this world would look like in its original state, at the dawn of creation, the beauty that it was designed to be. Every time I get over-taken by the materials of this world, or I can’t find the beauty in the earth that I stand on; I think about my home. I can see myself on a hill side, staring at the handy work of God, and its helps to bring me back to my senses. It helps me realize that the work of God is far more creative and satisfying than the work of man. It’s good to know I'm in His hands.

Thoughts from Tiffany- Awakening

2008-02-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

At the end of December 6 of us went to One Thing at Bardle Hall in MO and I was captivated by the passion in the leaders and the body of believers there. It was so encouraging to me and made the passions in my heart for the Body of Christ even stronger and even clearer. Like I mentioned at our class today, my passion for around 1 year now has been to help usher in an awakening in the Church, although now over the last 6 months it seems to have become more urgent in my spirit. This passion and urgency was burned deeper into my heart while I was there and my understanding of our position in the awakening in the church as well.

Corey Russell’s teaching at One Thing really brought more understanding of the blindness of the Church and how much more serious it is. He was also talking about our inheritance as God’s sons and daughters to, first and foremost, be in a place of intimacy with God that surpasses all we have known. It is this that we need to fight for, that the Church would be awakened to see their inheritance in Christ, and be completely free from the entanglements of this world. My heart has been stirred to a greater level to fast and pray for the Bride of Christ to also have a revelation in who She is, and to stand firm in that Bridal Identity to Usher in the Coming of the Kingdom of God.

Lou Engle was talking about the judgments to come because of the innocent blood we have shed of over 50 million babies killed from abortion, saying their blood cries out louder than that of Abel. During the Call, I was captured by the seriousness of the sin we have allowed in our nation and the blindness much of the world has toward these issues. Lou said “Abortion is not a political issue it is a Kingdom issue” , I had not thought of it in that way separating it like that although I knew (to the best of my ability) it was something that grieves the heart of God . As the Call went on, I continued to be awakened to see the true light of my life here on earth and finding that “I” don’t matter but it is all about Christ receiving the reward of His suffering. So I find it easier to lose myself to gain the joy of giving it all to glorify Christ…

Thoughts from Curtis- Jesus on Leadership

2008-02-06T13:40:00.001-07:00

Hey Everyone
So I have been reading this book called Jesus on leadership and I love it. If you are or you think you are a leader I would highly recommend this book. One point of this book that I just love is that a leader is like a person on a soccer team, more then someone playing golf trying to win a tour. I love this because a leader is one that is not self focused but team focused. Instead of trying to see what the best is for you, you think of others and always have the end in mind. Golf players are in it for themselves; They train for themselves, motivate themselves and get all the glory when and if they win. Soccer players on the other hand, they have to be motivated together. If one person does not see the same as the others they can easily give the game away because of their lack of focus on the end result. We as leaders need to work together in this world and not be so caught up in ourselves that we don’t see how our team is suffering from our independence. And when we start to work together like a team we will see how easy it is to lead others.

Thoughts from Macy-Heart

2008-01-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

After long conversations with close friends and relatives, I’ve become more and more sensitive to the facts of heart, or rather what we’re feeding our hearts. Matthew 15:18 says, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’” To really understand what’s in the heart, you have to see the heart under the most intense situations, for example: a bad day.

Consider this scenario: you’ve had a really rough day at work. On top of your boss yelling at you, you spilled a double tall mocha on your brand new white shirt. You trip on the random curb as you finally arrive at the place I hope you treasure most, home. What is the first thing you do? Maybe you run for the fridge to pull out your half pint of Ben and Jerry’s half baked ice cream, or perhaps you just go straight to the TV to numb out the days worries. Who or what do you first turn to?

The answer to this question, although it may seem simple, will tell what you fill the void in your heart with. Even a husband or best friend can take the place specifically meant to be filled by Jesus. That’s why you need to learn, as I am learning, to make God your default button. An easy to do this is to have a scripture on your tongue always, and for every occasion, that way when your boss comes in yelling instead of spiraling into self doubt and pity you first reaction will be, “He who loves discipline, loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” So, friends I encourage you all to really observe the issues of your heart this week. Find out what God is trying to tell you to fix and fix it!

Thoughts from Tiffany- Mission

2008-01-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

So over the past week God has been speaking to me through many different sources about my Mission in life, and how important it is. In our class on Leadership Management we are reading a book called Jesus On Leadership. In this book I have learned a lot about what a true leader looks and lives like. In Principle 5 “Take up the Towel” there were some things he said that jumped out to me. He said:

“When one becomes servant to the mission, that mission becomes the resolve (stead fast purpose) that is the basis of strong leadership during critical times.”

“Leaders falter in the face of challenge when they don’t have or fully understand the mission”

This struck me and really got me thinking about my mission in Life. Then we went to our Furnace spring retreat (Encounter) over this weekend. On Saturday we spent 1 ½ mapping and writing out our mission statement through a series of questions having to do with our passions and core values. It really helps to clarify what I should have my focus on in everyday life, and keeps my mind on God’s plans for me and not my own. I would encourage you to sit down and map out your missions statement to help direct your focus in life to God and His plans for you.

Thoughts from Aly- Ultimate Frisbee

2008-01-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Get this mental image. City Park in downtown Denver. 16 college students. Sunny skies. A light breeze. Patches of snow. Patches of mud. Dead grass. A Frisbee and a field covered in goose droppings. THE ULTIMATE FRISBEE GAME OF THE CENTURY! This past Saturday, we were in Denver for our Furnace Encounter. For the afternoon we split into 10 or so groups to go on excursions.

I led the excursion for Ultimate Frisbee. First we waited for the hotel courtesy shuttle for fifteen minutes. We decided to walk since the park was “not very far”. A mile and a half walk later, we finally arrived at city park. (We kind of cheated and used Google maps on someone’s phone because we were concerned about walking around aimlessly for hours). Most of the fields were covered in snow. In fact, there were children skiing on one of the soccer fields.

Finally in the distance we spotted an open field. It was free of snow, had trees lining one side, and had enough room to play a decent game of ultimate. Once we got closer, we came to the realization that it was free of snow but covered in goose poop. And I don’t mean just patches, I mean COVERED! Since we had already walked so far, we weren’t about to surrender now. We played for two hours. It was an intense game. Each team answering the other with points. Extreme competition was present...all this was accented by trying to keep our footing on the slippery field. Normally you don’t want to fall, but with goose poop everywhere you REALLY didn’t want to!

The ending score was 10-9. The last point took probably twenty minutes to score, but finally my team triumphed! By the end of the game, 3 out of the 16 of us were NOT covered in goose poop and mud. (I was one of the three!) It was absolutely incredible... easily the best Ultimate game of my life!

Thoughts from Whitney-Encounter

2008-01-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone! We just got back from our Furnace spring retreat: Encounter. God really opened my eyes to a lot. He made me realize true happiness only comes through Him, and the longer I go on trying to find my own way through life, the more unhappy I will become.

This past weekend taught me that I have to make an EVERY day commitment, not just a day or a week or a month or a year, but an EVERY day commitment to Him. Every day I tell God I am His, and I am committed to following His will. I find I am learning more everyday about Him with this commitment I am choosing to make daily. Although the commitment I have made this past week is a hard one, I know that His all-powerful will is all I need. No matter where He places me in the world, I will find joy and happiness.

Thoughts from Aimee- Trust

2008-01-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

Growing up in a Christian home I always thought that I trusted God in every area of my life. I am slowly learning how untrue a statement that is. Whether it is a lack of money, a question about my future, or even a tragic event, I cannot comprehend how much my life is being revolutionized by the idea of trusting God.

Before this year, my life was stable. I knew what I would be doing the next year, that there was enough money to provide for my needs, and though there were at times tragedies, the negative effects were short-lived. Never before have I had to so fully rely on God. I have been utterly terrified by the thought that I am not in control of my life. Not having control goes against everything in my nature. I am a planner and a fixer, and for the first time in my life, I am not able to figure out how things in my life will work.

Fortunately for me, even with a somewhat chaotic life and unplanned future, I have a God who is faithful and mighty. God has promised I can trust in Him because He has an awesome plan for my life. God is not going to call me and then abandon me. I am on God’s side and He is going to guide me and take care of me.

Psalm 112:7-8 says:
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
My prayer is that my heart would be steadfast, trusting in the Lord no matter what my circumstances are. Life may not turn out the way I expect but God is faithful and trustworthy. There is no need to fear.

Thoughts from Cassie- Glory

2008-01-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

The other day I was sitting in a prayer meeting and quietly singing along with the band. I was singing quite contentedly when I realized what the words were. They were, “Let your glory fall.” I thought struck me, what is glory? Not just any glory, but what is God’s glory? How can it fall? How can we give Him glory? Just some food for thought.

I looked up glory at dictionary.com and it really cleared it up for me, check it out http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/glory. It appears glory is also another word for beauty or splendor. I also looked up verses on glory and my favorite was:

2 Corinthians 3:17-18
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes fro the Lord who is the Spirit.

Bless you and may you discover the glory of God this week!

Thoughts from Alleli- Growth

2008-01-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised the DIs haven't told me to shut up yet. I talk about "my girls" a lot...almost obsessively. Why? Because they're my girls.

One night, almost two years ago, I was driving with one of my girls, Lauren. We were talking about all the transition and change our church was going through. We had a new lead and youth pastor which brought a lot of change. Now, I don't necessarily do well with a lot of change. I was used to the way things were being done. I liked how things were being done; there was nothing wrong with it.

I told Lauren how I felt about all the transition and how I missed how things used to be done. She then said to me, "If you're not changing, you're not growing." That's a lot of conviction from somebody who's four years younger than me. Mind you, she was 14 at the time.

I'm 20 years old; change is inevitable. My parents are graciously taking care of my insurance payments as well as my cell phone bill. But sooner or later, I'm not going to be living in the comfort of my parents' financial umbrella. That's just one example of change I'll be going through shortly. I better grow and learn how to take care of my own financial needs.

So it got me thinking, if we're comfortable, typically we're complacent, we're apathetic, we're wasteful. It's not that we're losing ground, but we're not gaining any. There is nothing inherently wrong with being comfortable, but there needs to be a concious decision to gain ground and at least toe the line of something different.

Thoughts from Curtis-Real Faith

2008-01-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

I was reading Psalm 27:2 “When the wicked come against me to eat my flesh my enemies and foes they stumble and fell. Though an army may encamp against me, my heat shall not fear; though war mat rise against me. In this I will be confident.”

I think that is a major declaration of how much David had faith in God and not man. I, for a long time, was really fickle with my relationship with God; on good days I would read my bible (and enjoy it). I was really in to worship and prayer and just felt good inside. But on bad days… it was really hard to come to the conclusion that God loved and cared about me.

As I read this the biggest part I see is we can’t let external elements determine our internal praise to God. You have to know in you heart that you will serve God in the good and bad times. Jesus never said it would be easy for us to live a life fully devoted to the pursuit of God. We know that there will be bumps in the road, but it's not about how many times you're hit; it's about how, when you get hit, if you are going to move forward and onward or back off.

I know this will not be a walk in the park, but if we put our trust in God, we can rest knowing greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. We will overcome, and it does not matter what happens to us now. We will still be found in desperate pursuit of God.

Thoughts from Jasen- Introduction

2008-01-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

Hey there

My name is Jasen Petersen. Over break I did a lot of stuff... mostly just sat around, but I went to see I Am Legend and National Treasurer 2. They were really good. I also had Christmas with my family, and that was awesome. I got to hang out with friends and just have fun. I received a lot of clothes for Christmas as well as a set of headphones and money. I want to encourage you to keep praying and reading your Bible.

Thoughts from Kelly-Radicals

2008-01-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

Who are the radicals?? I can't count how many times I've been called a 'radical Christian' since starting this internship. When I think about it, I could've done anything, gone anywhere. I had close to perfect grades and was a multi-sport athlete. I had the whole world in my hands, yet I took a year off school, left behind everything I was accustomed to and comfortable with and began a journey I wouldn't have even been able to dream of. I intentionally left behind the world of my past and started towards something much bigger than myself: a quest towards God.

While talking to an old pastor of mine, I was charged with a question. In the conversation I had made mention of radical Christianity several times before he finally asked me, "Kelly, what exactly is a radical?" It stopped me in my tracks!! Here I was, proclaiming myself to be something I didn't even know the definition of. My pastor could tell I wasn't at all expecting the question and laughed a little, before expanding on his wisdom.

A radical is someone defined as extreme, so what then is extreme Christianity and where exactly is it modeled? A radical Christian is one who is sold out; one who is abandoned to a cause greater than himself. A radical is one who surrenders their all, for the all of their King. The conversation stirred something inside of me. How many times have I surrendered again and again before the cross, yet moments later try to control all that's occurring around me?

So I've made a conscious decision: I'm only picking up my cross, nothing of this world, none of my own desires, worries, or pain. Only the cross and with my cross I will strive to abandonment. I WANT TO BE SOLD OUT!! Anyone with me??

Thoughts from Aly- Onething

2008-01-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temle.”
Psalm 27:4

24 hour prayer and worship before the Throne of the Lord. Intercession for the nations and this generation. Waiting to hear the Lord speak. Immediate obedience and a heart completely alive to His Spirit. This is the vision of the Onething conference hosted by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City.

I attended for the first time this December and it was life changing! Over the four day conference God started a fire in my heart to start 24 hr prayer and worship across the nation. On the last day, we participated in The Call. The Call is a 12 hr period of fasting and praying for the nation. It was the best way to welcome in a new year I have ever experienced. We prayed for the issues of abortion and pornography keeping this nation in bondage. We prayed for our president and for the future president. My favorite part was when we prayed for healing for people in the room who were sick or injured. The group I was with experienced a miracles in our midst.

The man we prayed for had been suffering from back pain and a 70% curvature of his spine for years due to football injuries. While we were praying for him, we didn’t know what we were praying for only that we were praying for healing. As we were playing he felt fiery heat travel up his spine. His back started popping and the pain left. When we were finished praying he was standing up straight and had full range of motion.

It was amazing to see God work miracles that day. The Bible came alive to us. It was the most intense experience of my life. It was incredible to be in the room with 20,000 young people for 12 hrs seeking the face of God and interceding for the nation before the feet of Jesus!

Thoughts from Lindsey- Life thus far

2008-01-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

DI this year has already been life changing for me this year. It has only been four months and I have changed so much. God has taught me so much about who He really is and how much He truly loves me.

I have also met some amazing people throughout this year starting with the amazing DIs I am surrounded by daily and learning from Dan and David Perkins in class. I am also gaining wisdom from Brent Parsley and Aaron Stern. DI has, thus far, been a great experience.

The first part that impacted me was going to all the prayer meetings. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be praying two hours daily I would have thought you were crazy. Prayer meetings in the Furnace have been so amazing and impacting. I have grown so close to God by seeking his face daily and crying out for change in my life and my generation. If there is anything I could say has helped me through life it is those prayer meetings.

Being part of _tag, the student ministry here at New Life, has also been amazing. Impacting students lives to help them seek after God has been a privilege. Just being a part of this movement by God is worth giving God a year of my life to greater advance His kingdom. From tour, to _tag, to the conference we are just getting started on creating, God is doing so much this year in my life and the lives around me.

Peace and Love!

Thoughts from Joel- Home

2008-01-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, My name is Joel and I am a DI and I just wanted to tell how wonderful of a break I had. I got to catch up on a lot of sleep, spend time with friends, snowboard, and relax but most of all I had some awesome experiences with God at Church and in my quiet time. I grew in faith and was then able to share my faith with my friends and family. It was a really good all-around experience.

Thoughts from Whitney- Break

2008-01-09T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! I just want to fill you in on what I did on this wonderful Christmas Break. First, I started out with my friend from Australia coming to stay at my place for a week. It went well, and it was very nice to see her.

After she left I had some family time, which was AMAZING! I love my family, I have a little sister who just turned 5 and she is my pride and joy! Then for New Years, my family and I flew to Los Angeles, California to go to Disneyland/California Adventure…let me tell you, it was a BLAST.

My mom's sister ( my aunt ) and her family met us there. My cousin and I are best friends so we got to catch up on life and have an amazing time on the the rides. My two favorite rides where Tower of Terror and Screamin’. Then I came home and now I'm back in wonderful Colorado with all of my DI family and friends!

I am Blessed!

Thoughts from Curtis- Desire

2008-01-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hey…

So over this Christmas break I read Psalm 73:25,
“Whom have I in heaven but you? There is none upon earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the Strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

My favorite Part of this psalm is when he says, “there is none upon earth that I desire besides you.” I love this so much because David was so content with his relationship with God that the things that the world had to offer ment NOTHING to him.

I think that passage is amazing. It shows me how when your heart is so matured, your needs, wants, and desires for carnal things dissipate, and your hunger for intimacy grows like crazy.

Thoughts from Susan- Cleaning

2008-01-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

It completely amazes me how God speaks to us through just about anything. For me during break, it was cleaning bathrooms. I’ve been trying to earn some extra money during break by detail cleaning bathrooms at the Lockheed Martin plant in Texas. At first I thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world and was way too good to be cleaning bathrooms. Somewhere along the line I actually started to enjoy it. I started to take pride in my work and the fact that I could transform a gross grimy bathroom into a sparkling one.

A few nights ago, as I was furiously scrubbing a particularly dirty sink, I had a rather odd thought. “God likes cleaning too!” It sounded pretty silly in my head because God certainly doesn’t clean bathrooms! Then after I thought about it, I realized it didn’t mean bathrooms; God loves to take his hurting children and clean up the mess in their lives.

Here's the thing; for the past year I haven’t trusted him enough to really come into my heart and clear it of the past. Sure, I let him come in every once in a while and take care of a few things, but parts of my heart kept clinging to the past no matter how much it was hurting me.

As many of the D.I.s could tell you, I’ve become a completely different person since coming to Colorado. I’m goofy, silly sassy Susan, and I like her way more than quiet, sad moody Susan. That’s the version of me that desperately clings to the past and refuses to let go when God is just trying to take all of it away. I don’t want that anymore, I don’t want to mull over what I’ve done and what I should have done to fix it. I’m tired of letting the enemy use the memories I’ve kept to make me so ashamed of everything. I’ve finally let go, let God come in and let Him take care of my mess. I only wish more people that live life clinging to their past could let God’s peace and joy reign over their hearts. Life’s a lot more pleasant like that.

Thoughts from Alleli- Be Still

2007-12-30T17:43:00.000-07:00

At my home church, my pastor was talking about Simeon. If you don't know who this guy is, he was the priest who blessed Mary, Joeseph, and baby Jesus. Simeon was the man who patiently waited for Jesus' arrival because it was promised to him. God told Simeon he wouldn't die until he saw the Messiah.

With that knowledge, Simeon waited patiently. He didn't go out to the temple and have his heart skip a beat seeing every newborn that was presented to the temple. He didn't constantly seek out families with newborns on the street corners. No, the day of baby Jesus' arrival at the temple, Simeon felt compelled by the holy spirit to go to the temple. It was like any other day and Simeon just felt he needed to be there to pray. BAM! Jesus was there.

I'm sure you've noticed that God's time and our time don't always coincide together harmoniously. Years are like seconds to our Creator. Ever asked God, "When will ____ happen?" and God says, "Soon, just hold your horses. Slow down. Be Still." ...But soon doesn't come soon enough.

What really caught me during my pastor's message was a renewed vision of Psalm 46:10- Be still and know that I am God.

I won't lie, being patient sometimes sucks. Sitting still sometimes sucks. Not having control over my own situation sometimes sucks.

...but good things come to those who wait upon the Lord. Look at Simeon; he got to see baby Jesus.

Thoughts from Kelly

2007-12-21T17:49:00.000-07:00

I've never been through these waters, never played a part in such a battle. My body fails me but my spirit keeps advancing. The days leading up to December 9 were life-changing ones for me. My eyes were completely opened to the spiritual realm and the phrase "spiritual warfare" became a living reality in my life. Coincidence? I believe not!

God revealed to me something most Christians choose to ignore or pretend its not there at all. The battles I was fighting equipped me for the events that happened that tragic Sunday. We have a very real enemy whose only purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. For the most part, this is done in the spiritual aspect. However, there are times when spiritual battles spill over into the physical realm. This is what I believe occurred. These days have not been easy, but a single phrase remains fixed in my mind: love only God, let Him equip you for battle, then fight with all God's put within you! Destroy the enemy!!

Thoughts from Tiffany

2007-12-14T15:28:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

This week has turned out to be a very traumatic time, with the loss of Stephanie and Rachel Works. We have held many prayer meetings for the Works Family and many have relayed the words they themselves have been saying and are encouraged by how much faith and trust they continue to have in God with no bitterness or unforgiveness for the shooter. They continue to be a good example in showing the Love of Christ to all that are watching. I can’t imagine their grief, although I know what it is to lose somebody close to me. My brother died just one year ago.

I also know the strength that God gives and the unspeakable joy and peace that comes when you invite God to share in the sufferings with you, not allowing fear or bitterness to well up within you but choosing instead to worship God simply because He is loving, faithful and true (because of who He is).

As I have thought about this last weekend at all that took place Sunday I am reminded in Revelation 2:10

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Jesus says we will face persecution. It is inevitable, but not to be afraid because He is with us. They can kill our physical bodies, but they will never kill our spirit. When Jesus lived here on this earth He also was persecuted, beaten and killed, the apostles were also treated the same way. Why? It was because what they were preaching was truth and convicted the people, making the people around them realize what they did was sin, and that they would be judged for it if they didn’t stop.

In Matthew 24:9 Jesus says "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.”

Persecution will come when we are living a life pleasing to God and advancing His kingdom because the devil and his kingdom is being threatened. Scripture says we don’t fight against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. That’s means even though circumstances like these happen, we need to not be angry at those people but more and more awakened to the reality of powers and rulers of this age in the spiritual realm that are trying to destroy us because we are spreading the Love of God and people are getting saved for the fire of hell..

In John 12:24 “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

I believe that God is using the death of the Works sisters to advance the Kingdom of God in our city and around the world. So don’t allow fear to seize your hearts or discouragement...but rejoice because we are advancing the kingdom of God and defeating the enemy !!

Thoughts from Cassie

2007-12-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

It's monday morning, and many of the DI's are still reeling from yesterday's events. After the shootings occured, many of us were sad, angry, or simply numb. We were so blessed because every DI had left the church only minutes before the shooting happened. It was very emotional for me personally because my sister was in the main building when the shooting took place and was ushered into lock down with the rest of the crowd that had been milling about in the lobby after second service. My immediate reaction was fear for her, then sadness for those that I knew would be deeply affected by these events.

Then a new emotion arose...anger. I remeber my thought being, "How dare anyone come into my church where my sister was and try to harm these wonderful people!" Of course my feelings of rage have cooled since yesterday, but one sentiment has remained--

I refuse to victimize myself.

Instead, I will rise up. I will offer God's peace and love to those that feel the sting of this attack. I will pray for the families who have been affected. We have all been affected, but I choose to not be defeated. Not only do I pray for it, but I know that we will emerge stronger than before. It has been said that "The blood of the martyrs fuels the flame of revival" and I firmly believe it.

I encourage all to pray for the families and friends of those affected and for those who first hand experienced the trauma. Pray for strength for all of us to deal with the days and weeks to come. Finally, pray for a revival, a new kind of passion and zeal to be birthed out of this.

Thoughts from Tiffany

2007-12-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

I just wanted to share some things God’s been speaking to me during my alone time with God. I have been reading John because I just really want to know God’s Character not just in my mind, but in the deepest parts of my heart, and to understand how I am to live in this world, Considering He is to be our example.
So I was reading John 10:2-3 “The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of His Sheep. The watchman opens the gate for Him, and the sheep listen to His voice..”
As I have been thinking about this and studying it as well as Isaiah 62:6-7 I have really been challenged and convicted both at the same time. A watchman in the Old Testament was a person who would stay up all day/night and if there was any coming danger would sound the trumpet as a warning Eze 3:17.., (a guard, to keep). They also have the job of opening the doors for non threatening visitors allowing them to come into their city for food and safety.

As I have been reading this, God says that we are watchmen over our generation, I believe one of our jobs is to open the doors (gates) for God to come and transform our generation, we do that through our prayer and worship (intersession). We must see the weightiness that our prayers hold in the Kingdom of Heaven (James 5:16b Amp—the earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]. “ . I believe just as in Isaiah 56:10 “or the leaders of my people-the Lord's watchmen, his shepherds-are blind to every danger. They are like silent watchdogs that give no warning when danger comes. They love to lie around, sleeping and dreaming.”
This seems to be the condition of the majority of our generation. God is calling us to a higher level of accountability on how we spend our time in this world and what we invest ourselves in. We are to be the kind of watchmen described in Isaiah 62:6-7 “I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the Lord, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth.”
We are God’s hands, and voice in this earth so let us do it right!

Thoughts from Matt

2007-12-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

John 4:32
"I have food to eat that you know nothing about" – Jesus
God, we say we are hungry. We say we want to know you deeper and truly want to be desperate for you. Then why do we settle for less? We settle for the scrapes of food and the milk, which we weren’t made to have. You have placed aside real food that we were meant to feast upon and yet we ignore it.

Could it be that when we settle for less, when we settle for milk, we are denying God and who we truly are in Him. When this great story is revealed and this omnipotent and loving God comes into relationship with us are we not denying it in some way when we say no to the fullness. Are we not to take hold of everything to the fullness that He has taken hold of us?
You say that You have food that we know nothing about. Food that is beyond our finite minds to understand is out there but yet we know nothing about it. WHY?

We settle for less when we should only be settling for the Fullness of Christ. We settle for milk and are filling ourselves with it, which is turning our hearts complacent. We become comfortable where we are at so that the new seasons and revelations God is putting in front of us slowly fade away.

If we truly seek the face of God and grow in new revelations, the things that were outside our finite minds now rest within. Let our finite minds expand so that we may know and taste of this food we know nothing about and find the fullness of Christ. We say we want to know of this food by breaking off the complacent chains that have held us down for so long. The complacent life is the old. The basic principles of Christ, which we so often fall for, take place of the fresh revelations and image of Christ that is trying to break through today.

We no longer live in the understanding that we had of You last year. We no longer rely on the image we had of You yesterday. The joy and love that we had yesterday is not today’s. No, we say we want a fresh revelation of who You are. Let Your image and character become clearer everyday. Let something new fall upon us everyday. New joy, new love, new life. What was meant for last season and the season years ago no longer holds us. No, we say that season is now apart of us and we are ready for the new. We are ready for the revelation of today. The brighter and clearer image of You takes over today. Something new resides in us.
The food we know of is the basics. It is what is comfortable in our lives right now when all along it is hindering us because we are settling for anything and everything except for the fullness of Christ. There is a food, a life, a passion out there we know nothing about. Something beyond our what we can grasp. God we ask You to expand our finite brains.

Expand the limits, the old, the complacent. As we see Him, the food that we never knew about becomes apart of us. As we move into the new revelations and image of who He is; the unknown food becomes known, the impossible becomes possible.

Thoughts from Cassie

2007-12-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

My year in DI (so far) has been one of the best years of my life! I have grown so much in the last few months, in EVERY area. I cannot believe that yesterday, I ran/walked just about three miles, when in high school I was the girl that always volunteered to hold the stop watch while everyone else ran the mile.

Last night we had an acoustic prayer meeting that was fantastic. I wish everyone in the world could have been there to see the twinkling lights of Colorado Springs and listen to Joe Couch and the band, the simple beauty of it made my heart so glad. God has been so good to me this week. I am continually learning that my own strength falls short of God’s plan for me every day. This is the sweetest lesson to learn because when you reach the end of yourself, then you find God and when you rely on his strength, you will never grow tired and always have joy to spare. God bless!

Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
In him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
My heart exults,
And with my song I give thanks to him

Thoughts from Aly

2007-12-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

The Lord has been revealing to me the importance of waiting on Him. Just recently, I spent the night at the World Prayer Center. From 8pm to 8am, I waited on the Lord and interceded for this generation. He taught me the importance of relying on Him for my strength as I struggled to stay awake and focused. He showed me that when I was so busy trying to do all the things I thought would please Him, but in reality He just wanted me to wait on Him and soak in His presence. Since spending that night with Him, I have had considerable more strength and a deeper hunger for His presence.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14

As I wait for the Lord I find my strength. I don’t find it when I am busy doing things for Him. I don’t find it when I am striving and straining to please Him. Even in worship, if my heart is not waiting on Him I find no strength. When I wait on the Lord, my strength is renewed. My strength is found when I am quiet. When I recognize that He is big and I am not, and when I sit and wait for Him to speak.

Thoughts from Aaron

2007-12-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

So, do you ever just sit around and look at your friends and their talents and start to feel a little envious? At times I have to catch myself because I'll drift off into a fantasy world where I can see myself better than everyone else because I have all of their talents combined.

It's fun to play out what life would be like, but I also can't stand it when I do it. Lately God has been telling me "WHO CARES! I made you who you are, why aren't you satisfied?" I am still learning to love my friends for their strong points and to stop being so envious. It takes work, but I don't want to be like them. Then I wouldn't be the awkward little loveable fellow that I am. I love the way I work, I am the original design God made me to be. I love the feeling of being unique, the only one of me. I sense God's love so much more when I realize that even before the heavens and earth were formed, He made me to be different from everyone else...

...besides, who really wants webbed feet? Seriously.

Thoughts from Curtis

2007-12-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hey
So this past week there was a verse in the bible that got my attention. The verse is Matt 6:19 it talks about how we need to not lay up treasures on this earth but in heaven. And I was kind of thinking, what does that look like? We as Christians, I think, need to be known for our love of God and our love of people.
It says in Matt 22:39 when he tells the Pharisees the Second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. I think that people need to see Christ through our life. And as we treat others as we want to be treated, as we display random acts of kindness, they will see the love of God through us. And through these acts of kindness we store up treasures in heaven…

Thoughts from John

2007-12-04T16:19:00.000-07:00

Recently over and over again I have been reflecting on this passage of Isaiah:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.
Isaiah 43: 1- 4

The first phrase of this is what really hit me and I had to look up the word redeemed and I found one of its definitions as:
“to obtain the release or restoration of, as from captivity, by paying a ransom”

When I read this, I began to feel strength and comfort in who I was. I don’t have to fear for I have already been paid for. I know I know its very cliché comment, but I truly felt it. Then Isaiah began to list the things that could cause us to fear and assures us we don’t need to be fearful because God will protect us.
That is why I believe that being in the center of God’s will as many people say is the safest place can be true. However, it might not seem to be the case. I constantly want to know what God has planned for me so I can begin praying and preparing my self for it. I so desperately want clarity when God has something better in store. When a man once asked mother Teresa where she gets her clarity from because she had it so together but she simply replied, “I don’t ask for clarity I ask for faith.” What a strong statement that is! We may want the easy rewarding thing full of clarity but I am diving deeper into God’s faith rather than his clarity.
For me, it’s not easy; its hard its painful it means sacrificing my pride but after all I am Precious and honored in God’s sight. How awesome is that and how can I trust in anything but that? So for now I give up on the clarity five year plan and I am taking it one blink at a time. For me, this means sacrificing my own desires and looking only at his. I struggle and it's easy to talk about it, but the challenge for all of us is to quit talking about it and live it. After all, we are His and He is looking out for our best!

Thoughts from Macy

2007-12-04T16:12:00.000-07:00

One HUGE thing that God is pressing on me lately is the concept of a genuine and willing heart. God delights so much in us being completely open to whatever or wherever he is calling. I have to admit this is something I have always known, but never put into practice. It wasn’t like I chose to ignore this aspect of Christianity, it’s just I never felt worthy enough to be willing. Last Thursday I was seeking God completely unaware of this whole “Willing Heart” concept when this verse hit me:

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. 26 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:25-31

From there my heart has been completely bent on making sure I am open and receptive to everything God is telling me to do. More so God has convicted me of my motivation behind doing the things I’m doing.
On Alleli’s last blog she talked about emotion being a byproduct. Going off that, I believe when we do anything without pure intentions it is like vomit to God. This would include things such as fasting, worshipping, and even praying. I made a goal last month not to do anything unless it was with a pure heart with the right motives. Since then I have seen my prayer, fasting, and worship life become deeper than it’s ever been. I want to encourage everyone to really go with the right heart when they come before Jesus. He recognizes and sees the willingness to serve, and will take delight in you!

Thoughts from Alleli

2007-12-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

So my two cents for the day would have to be about worship music. Many of the other interns will tell you I'm all about this. My accountibility group is probably sick of me talking about this. But I will tell you right now, I will never tire from this since I feel so convicted.

A friend of mine at college once said to me, "Emotion should be a byproduct of the way you worship." BAM, conviction in my heart. So many times I've put my emotions first. I stick my hands up in the air during the bridge of a song because it's the most climatic part. You know what I'm talking about, right?

Since I've been in Colorado Springs, I've made it a point to have my heart in the right place when I sing in worship. Sometimes, I'll stop singing...stop moving...stop everything. I focus on what the words are up on the screen. I shut my eyes and concentrate hard on what I'm singing. Am I singing to be singing, or am I singing because I love my God and I can't help but sing?

Don't get me wrong. Music is my passion. I love the complicated fills a drummer can do. I love the double and triple strums of an accomplished guitarist. I love the two and three part harmonies. I genuinely love every aspect of music; I love belting out the harmionies. I love raising my hands up to my Jesus. I love falling on my face and crying out to God.

By no means should emotion be elliminated from the way we worship...but by no means is it the focus.

Thoughts from Aimee

2007-11-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
Part of the code of character for the Desperation Internship is to stay steady. This means that no matter what we seek God, that no matter what we live the life of those who are desperately pursuing God. And if there is one thing that I have learned in the past three months as a Desperation Intern it is to allow God to sustain me.

When there is such a lack of sleep and such a high level of responsibility, Starbucks simply won’t keep you going. There are times when you are exhausted, stressed out and irritated and in those times God has to be your strength. The only thing that will keep you going is to continually seek Him out and to never allow yourself to become apathetic. Only pursuing God on a daily basis will sustain you through the more tumultuous times in your life.

I’m not saying that your life will be easy but leaning on God and allowing Him to give you rest will make the hard times a little more bearable. I can’t express to you how important it is to find your strength in the Lord. When your strength comes from the Lord you can accomplish so much more. Even when you are in a Jesus-bubble like DI, life is not easy and it is so important to learn to remain consistent in your pursuit of the Lord. It’s all about looking to Him for strength and endurance. God will see you through the good times as well as the bad times, so lean on Him.

Thoughts from Kelly

2007-11-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

We’re three months into this journey and I never could have imagined my life as it is now. I’ve been on four retreats and a week long tour of the Midwest... not to mention the countless hours of prayer and intercession. I’ve never spent so much time alone with God, and my life has never been so rewarding.

I’ve learned it’s not about a place, it’s not about what you think you’re walking through, but it’s about pressing through. It’s about taking your eyes off yourself and focusing on that which is bigger than you, bigger than this world your battling against. So keep battling, keep pressing…

Thoughts from Curtis

2007-11-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone

I moved to Colorado this September and fell in love with it. I Started this internship(DI)
And love it like Crazy. The coolest part for me is the prayer meetings. Its so amazing to be able to have a few hours to just sit down and speak to God and Him speak to you. These past few months I have developed a deeper hunger for prayer and reading his word. And I’m so excited for what he is going to do in this next few months in DI..

Thought from Tiffany

2007-11-27T15:28:00.001-07:00

Hey guys!
Well we just got back from Thanksgiving break! Many of us are trying to slim down 5 poundsJ .. Food was amazing not to mention the amazing hours of sleep we had!! We also got back just a few weeks ago from tour in the Midwest, it was great! I really loved meeting and encouraging all the students and youth pastors in the different states. It was a lot of fun and I really liked getting to know all the furnace students during tour too. (considering we were on bus together for 9 hours a day! ) ..

Thought from Aly

2007-11-27T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! The DI’s have just returned from an amazing tour across the Midwest! God did powerful things in the lives of students and in my heart. Over the course of the 5 nights of prayer, God taught me to step out in boldness and not be afraid to lead. The first night I was praying with a group of students who were distracted and not willing to participate. I felt God telling me to pray as an example then ask them to pray for specific things then just wait. There were 4 or 5 minutes of awkward silence because none of them were praying. I really wanted to pray to fill the silence, but God was telling me to be silent. We finished the group time with none of them having prayed and I was pretty discouraged. As I was leaving the auditorium, one of the girls stopped me and thanked me for leading strong and being an example because otherwise it would have been terribly awkward and boring. So even though I didn’t feel like I accomplished anything God used my obedience to work in the life of at least the one girl. Obedience is important so keep obeying and the Lord will bless you!

First Post

2007-11-01T14:53:00.000-06:00

Hey, what's up you guys!

This is the first (of hopefully many) blogs from all of the Desperation Interns. What this blog will contain are what the DI's are reading thru during their God times, stuff they've been wresteling with during the week, random "deep" thoughts, or even just a funny video.

Feel free to email us and we'll try to get back to you as soon as we can.

desperation.intern@gmail.com

So since this is the first post, I'll just let you know what's going on in DI world right now. It's Thursday, and we're all about ready to set up for The Gathering. Yesterday, most of today, tomorrw and the next up until Tuesday evening, we're all planning, preparing, and gathering essentials to go on tour with the Desperation Band into the Midwest. We'll be gone for 8 days and I'm sure it'll be a blast.

We'll be sure to let you know how it goes when we get back.

God Bless!!!

--Alleli